I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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