he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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