Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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