Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
