I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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