i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
