I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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