we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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