Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
