omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
