I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
