he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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