Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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