PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I had to cum in my sink.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
