Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
