thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
