quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
