Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
