The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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