I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
