That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
