why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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