I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
