This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
