And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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