when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
