I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
