I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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