and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize