Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
