Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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