seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
