tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
