You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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