so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
