My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
