Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
