Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
