I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
