Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
