Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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