Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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