So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
