So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
