I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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