so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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