There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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