You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize