Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize