If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
