Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
