trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
