whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
