when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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