he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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