Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
