i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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